You weren't born to be agreeable.
You were trained to be.
To be easy to work with.
Easy to love.
Easy to manage.
But here's the truth:
You can't be fully powerful and fully palatable at the same time.
And the cost of trying? Your voice, your vision, and your peace.
Welcome back to Unapologetically In Power.
I'm your host, Jennifer Damaskos, and we're deep in our first theme: How to Unlearn Who You Had to Be.
Because let's be honest—most of us were shaped more by survival than by self-expression.
And today, we're talking about one of the sneakiest ways that shows up in your career, your content, and your leadership: the "Good Girl" mask.
You know her. You might be wearing her right now.
She's agreeable in meetings—even when she disagrees.
She's accommodating with timelines—even when they're unrealistic.
She's praised for being "so collaborative," "such a team player," "never difficult to work with."
But here's what that praise really cost you:
Your preferences. Your voice. Your well-being.
And if you're building a personal brand or leading a team? It's costing you your authority.
The Good Girl isn't born—she's built.
She's built in households where speaking up meant chaos.
In classrooms where having strong opinions got you labeled "bossy."
In early career roles where advocating for yourself meant being called "high maintenance."
So we adapted.
We made ourselves useful, likable, low-maintenance.
We learned to read rooms before we entered them.
To soften our ideas with phrases like "I might be wrong, but..."
To apologize before we even spoke.
And it worked—for a while.
You got promoted. You got praised. You got positioned as the "safe choice."
But here's what happens when the Good Girl grows up:
She becomes the woman who has brilliant insights... but waits for someone else to voice them first.
She writes powerful content... then deletes it because it might be "too controversial."
She wants to raise her rates... but worries clients will think she's "money-focused."
She knows she should be visible... but visibility feels like vulnerability.
According to research from the Journal of Counseling Psychology, women who over-identify with being "nice" or "good" experience significantly higher rates of chronic stress and diminished self-worth. Why? Because when your value is tied to how easy you are to manage, you start managing yourself out of your own needs.
And in today's economy? That's not just exhausting—it's expensive.
Because the woman who's "easy to work with" doesn't get the promotion.
The thought leader who never challenges anything doesn't get remembered.
The entrepreneur who's afraid to be "too much" builds a forgettable brand.
I see this with my clients constantly:
The marketing director who has game-changing ideas but presents them as "suggestions."
The consultant who undercharges because asking for market rate feels "greedy."
The coach who posts safe, vanilla content because she's terrified of offending anyone.
But here's what happens when you take off the mask:
When you stop performing the "good girl," you don't become difficult.
You become decisive.
You don't burn bridges—you build better ones.
Ones based on respect, not just agreeability.
You don't lose opportunities—you attract the right ones.
The kind where your brilliance is valued, not your compliance.
It doesn't mean becoming harsh or uncompromising.
It means showing up as you—not the watered-down, committee-approved version.
The woman on the other side of this mask?
She speaks up in meetings without prefacing her ideas with apologies.
She posts content that reflects her actual thoughts, not her safest ones.
She prices her services based on value, not on what feels "nice."
She leads with conviction, not consensus.
And yes—some people won't like it.
The people who benefited from your diminishment will resist your expansion.
But those aren't your people anyway.
Your people? They've been waiting for the real you to show up.
The truth is: authenticity is magnetic.
And magnetism builds businesses, influences change, and creates legacy.
But you can't be magnetic if you're constantly managing your impact.
Here's your Power Prompt for this week:
Complete this sentence: "If I weren't afraid of being disliked, I would..."
Then ask yourself:
- What "good girl" rules am I following that keep me small?
- Where am I dimming my voice to keep others comfortable?
- What would change if I led with my values instead of their expectations?
Write it down. Get specific.
Because awareness is the first step to liberation.
I process these insights in my Five Minute Journal from Intelligent Change—it gives my mind space to untangle patterns without getting overwhelmed.
Use code UNAPOLOGETIC10 for 10% off at intelligentchange.com.
You don't need permission to stop playing small.
You just need the courage to disappoint the right people.
If this episode hit different—
If you recognized yourself in the "good girl" mirror—
Then I want you to do something slightly uncomfortable this week.
First, hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming.
Share this episode with a woman who's been praised for shrinking.
And most importantly: practice being a little less agreeable.
Not rude. Not harsh.
Just... honest.
Speak your actual opinion in the next meeting.
Post content that reflects your real thoughts.
Say no without a ten-minute explanation.
Because we weren't put here to please everyone.
We were put here to lead powerfully.
🎵 **[Outro music fades in]**
This is Unapologetically In Power.
I'm Jennifer Damaskos—and your permission slip to be "difficult" starts now.
