UIP- Episode 15: Shadows of Success
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This is unapologetically in Power, the podcast for ambitious women who are done performing and ready to lead from their unapologetic truth. I am Jennifer Damaskos and here. We don't play small in this space. We dismantle burnout, reclaim your energy and activate the unapologetic leader you are always meant to be, so you can lead, earn, and live from your unapologetic self.
week in episode 14, we [00:01:00] mapped the burnout blueprint, the surface patterns, draining your business. And here's the truth. Burnout isn't the root cause, it's just the smoke, the signal, the warning light on the dashboard. The fire underneath that is your identity shadows. The parts of you still running old programming, still chasing approval from the wrong people, still carrying shoulds that were never yours in the first place.
And here's the kicker. You can fix your calendar, your systems, or even your client roster, but if you don't deal with the shadows underneath, they'll just recreate the same exhaustion in a new form. So today we're pulling the curtain back on those shadows and showing you how to stop them from quietly running your business.
When I look back at my [00:02:00] worst season of burnout, I can trace it to one shadow ruining my entire business. The good girl, CEO, she's the one who said yes to every client request. Even the ones that made my stomach turn who kept difficult. Claytons happy no matter the cost. Who thought being liked was more important than being respected.
Who confused professional with doormat, and here's how she ended up showing up in my business with my pricing. I undercharged because good girls don't ask for too much with my boundaries. I answered emails at 11:00 PM because good girls are always available with my client management. I tolerated disrespect because good girls don't rock the boat.
And with my team leadership, I did [00:03:00] everything myself because good girls didn't burden others on paper, the business looked thriving, but the truth, my shadows were running the show. The wake up call came during a client call where I found myself apologizing for charging the exact rate I had quoted. And in that moment I realized this isn't leadership, this is shadow management.
And the shift began when I stopped apologizing. When I claimed my rate unapologetically without shrinking or softening. That was the day the good girl, CEO, stopped making my decisions for me.
Psychologists call these identity shadows, unconscious parts of your identity shaped by past [00:04:00] experiences, family dynamics or cultural conditioning that quietly dictates your choices, especially in high pressure situations, and they're costly. Dr.
Carl Jung's work showed that what we repress doesn't disappear. It controls us unconsciously. Yale neuroscientists Dr. Barr and Dr. Marcella found that 95% of decisions come from the subconscious programming, not conscious strategy. Harvard Business School's Leadership Identity Study found 89% of executive burnout comes from identity misalignment, not workload.
Brene Brown's research shows that good girl programming leads to 43% lower lifetime earnings for women through underpricing and over [00:05:00] giving. And the Journal of Management studies in 2023 revealed that entrepreneurs who don't address shadow patterns are 3.2 times more likely to experience chronic burnout.
The truth burnout isn't about overwork. It's about over identifying with shadows that don't belong to your future self. Here are the five shadows I see most often in high achieving women businesses. Number one is the good girl, CEO. She says yes to everything. Terrified of disappointing anyone under charges, over delivers, attracts demanding clients.
Her hidden cost is approval over value, and her revenue drain is average about 34% below market rates. Number two [00:06:00] is the overachiever. She measures worth by productivity and achievement works in the business, not on it. Her hidden cost is burnout disguised as success. And her
revenue drain. She's stuck at a certain ceiling of earning and she cannot expand farther. Number three, the martyr. She puts everyone else first wears exhaustion, like a badge of honor. Her hidden cost is no energy for vision or innovation, and her revenue drain is she's giving away premium work for free.
Number four is the chameleon. She adapts to everyone else's expectations, has no clear positioning or unique value. Her hidden [00:07:00] cost is she sacrifices authenticity for acceptance and her revenue drain. She can't charge premium rates, and the last one is the perfectionist for her. Nothing is ever ready enough to launch.
She makes endless revisions. She has analysis paralysis. Her hidden cost is fierce judgment more than she wants growth and her revenue drain our missed launches and under promotion. See, each shadow feels like it's helping you succeed, but in reality, they're draining your energy, sabotaging your vision.
And keeping you tied to rules you never agreed to. So the practical exercise today is our Shadow business audit. So grab your journal and [00:08:00] walk with me through this audit. The first thing we need to look at is our resentment radar. Where are you resentful in your business? Which clients or projects consistently drain you?
What do you keep doing from obligation, not strategy?
Let's look at some pattern recognition. What do you overdo even when you don't want to? Where do you shrink or hide? What would you do differently if you weren't afraid of judgment?
Let's look at some cost analysis. How much have you lost to under pricing? How many launches have you delayed? [00:09:00] How much energy do you spend managing others' emotions?
Now we need our future self integration, so we need to imagine your future self five years out running your dream business. Which shadows has she already integrated? What message does she have for you right now? Because once you can name the shadow, you can stop letting it run your business. And this is exactly why module two, reveal is all about shadow work because you can't build an extraordinary business from burnout, and you can't prevent burnout if you don't see the shadows driving it.
So in module two, we go deeper into identity shadow mapping. It's your personal shadow [00:10:00] profile, power leak inventory, where your shadows are draining, energy and revenue. Shadow integration framework, turning shadows into authentic leadership blueprint, leading from your whole self and boundary architecture.
Business rules that feed your energy, not drain it. Because shadow work isn't about erasing parts of you, it's about reclaiming the parts you've hidden and leading from your unapologetic whole self. So let me ask you, which shadow is running your business right now and what is it costing you? In revenue, in energy, in the vision you're not pursuing, how much longer will you let unconscious patterns [00:11:00] drive your conscious choices?
And what would change if you stopped managing your shadows and started integrating them? The longer you let shadows run the show, the longer burnout will keep sneaking back in. But the moment you see them, clearly you get your power back. The moment you integrate them, you become the leader you were always meant to be.
And if you're ready to do this work, deeply rise. Enrollment is open now. This is unapologetically empower. I'm Jennifer Damaskos. And your shadows don't define you. Your choices [00:12:00] do.
