Episode 25: Designing Your “Enough” Number

December 09, 2025

Episode 25: Designing Your "Enough" Number - A Nervous System-Based Wealth Plan

Episode Summary

"I'll feel safe when I make more. When I hit X amount, I'll finally relax."

Then you hit the number—and your nervous system didn't get the memo.

Most high-achieving women never actually define what enough means, so they keep living in a vague cloud of "not there yet," even as their life objectively improves.

In this transformative episode, Jennifer Damaskos guides you through designing three simple numbers: your safety number, your stability number, and your expansion number—in a way your nervous system can actually get behind.

This isn't about impressing anybody. It's about being honest with yourself and giving your brain permission to stop scanning for danger every time you open your banking app.

Key Topics & Timestamps

[00:00:00] - Introduction: Making "Enough" Less Vague, More Embodied Why you keep living in "not there yet" even as your life improves

[00:01:00] - The Mental Bandwidth Cost of Money Stress Research on financial scarcity and how money stress reduces your ability to plan, focus, and make thoughtful decisions

[00:02:00] - Why Your Brain Can't Tag "Safe Now" When you never define enough, your brain stays in low-level alert—even when the numbers are better than ever

[00:03:00] - Your Safety Number The monthly income where basic needs are covered and your nervous system can exhale

[00:04:00] - Your Stability NumberSafety plus breathing room—you're not just surviving, you're supported

[00:05:00] - Your Expansion Number The monthly income where you can invest, give, buy back time, and take bolder moves with less stress

[00:06:00] - The Nervous System Reality Check How to test each number against your body's response: collapse, neutrality, or quiet excitement

[00:07:00] - Building Around What Feels Possible Why we don't build your next 90 days around a number that sends your system into shutdown

[00:08:00] - Where Are You Now? Honestly assessing where you are and identifying one lever to pull in the next 30-60 days

[00:09:00] - Living "As If" You're Already There The counterintuitive practice of making decisions as if your safety number is already secured

[00:10:00] - Your Reflection Practice Which number will you organize your next 90 days around? What does your nervous system say?

[00:11:00] - Final Thoughts Your wealth is about the relationship your system has with "enough"

Powerful Quotes from This Episode

"Most high-achieving women never actually define what enough means, so they keep living in a vague cloud of 'not there yet,' even as their life objectively improves."

"Money stress isn't just uncomfortable—it's expensive from a brain energy standpoint."

"When you never define enough, your brain can't ever tag the situation as 'safe now,' so it stays in a low-level state of alert, even if the numbers are better than they've ever been."

"This is not about impressing anybody. This is about being honest."

"Research on stress and decision-making tells us that when we're highly activated, our brains default to short-term survival choices. When we're more regulated, we regain access to long-term strategic thinking."

"If your expansion number sends your system into shutdown, it doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means we don't build your next 90 days around it."

"You're not pretending the numbers don't matter. You are refusing to let your worst-case anxiety run every decision."

"Your wealth is not just about how much you make—it's about the relationship your system has with enough."

Key Takeaways

✅ Financial stress reduces mental bandwidth and makes it harder to plan, focus, and make thoughtful decisions

✅ When you never define "enough," your brain stays in low-level alert—even when numbers improve

✅ Three numbers to define: Safety (basic needs covered), Stability (breathing room), Expansion (invest and give from overflow)

✅ Reality-check each number against your nervous system: Does your body collapse, feel neutral, or experience quiet excitement?

✅ Build your next 90 days around the highest number that feels possible and safe enough right now

✅ When highly activated, our brains default to short-term survival choices; when regulated, we access long-term strategic thinking

✅ Practice living "as if" your safety number is already secured—refuse to let worst-case anxiety run every decision

The Three Numbers Framework

1. Your Safety Number

This is the monthly income where your basic needs are covered. Your non-negotiables are funded. Your nervous system can exhale a bit.

Includes:

Housing, utilities
Basic food, transportation
Minimum debt payments
Essential healthcare
A very small "life happens" buffer

Ask yourself: What is the monthly number where, if this were consistently coming in, my system would stop feeling like every bill is an emergency?

2. Your Stability Number

This is safety plus breathing room. You're not just surviving—you're supported.

Add in:

Reasonable lifestyle upgrades
More generous grocery/eating out budget
A little travel or experiences
More consistent savings
A buffer for kids, pets, hobbies

Ask yourself: What monthly number feels like "I'm okay. My life is resourced and I'm not constantly choosing between my needs"?

3. Your Expansion Number

This is your next-level number. The number where you can invest, give more, buy back time through support, and take bolder moves with less stress.

Ask yourself: What's the monthly number where I could play, invest, and give from overflow without it feeling ridiculous or like a fantasy?

The Nervous System Reality Check

Take each number and say it out loud: "My safety number is $X per month."

Notice your body:

Does your belly soften or clench?
Does your chest expand or tighten?
Do you feel a sense of relief?
Or does even that number feel impossible?

You're listening for three responses:

1. Collapse: "That's impossible. No freaking way."

2. Neutrality: "Yeah, that could happen."

3. Quiet Excitement: "That would change things."

If your expansion number sends your system into shutdown, it doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means we don't build your next 90 days around it. We build your next moves around the highest number that feels possible and safe enough right now, and we train your system from there.

Where Are You Now?

Look at all three numbers together: safety, stability, expansion.

Then ask: Where am I now? Honestly.

If you're below your safety number: That's not a moral failure. It tells us we're still in a chapter where the focus is stabilization, income consistency, reducing chaos, and slowing leaks.

If you're between safety and stability: We're working on strengthening the floor and freeing up some space.

If you're approaching or already at your expansion number: The work often shifts from "make more" to "hold, manage, and direct more without burning out."

Wherever you are, ask: What's one lever—just one—I can pull in the next 30 to 60 days that moves me closer to my next number?

Is that lever:

Earning more?
Spending differently?
Saying no to something that drains profits or energy?
Asking for or designing a change at work?

Small but concrete.

The Counterintuitive Practice: Living "As If"

Even if you're not yet at your safety number, experiment with living as if you are emotionally already there.

Ask yourself: If I deeply believed my safety number was secured and on its way, how would I make decisions differently?

Maybe you would:

Stop saying yes to panic projects just for quick cash
Stop undercharging because you're afraid the client will say no
Stop obsessively checking your accounts multiple times a day

You're not pretending the numbers don't matter. You are refusing to let your worst-case anxiety run every decision.

Remember: Financial stress already steals mental bandwidth and decision quality. You are simply choosing not to donate extra energy to it.

This Week's Reflection

Which number—safety, stability, or expansion—am I willing to organize my next 90 days around?

And what does my nervous system say about that?

Write down:

The number
Three feelings you associate with it
Three actions that would naturally flow from that version of you

Let this be a conversation between your spreadsheets and your body—not a debate where your body always loses.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If you want support doing this work in community, this is exactly what we explore inside the 5-Day Wealth Activation. We're mapping your numbers and upgrading the part of you that decides what's possible.

👉 Join the 5-Day Wealth Activation

Connect with Jennifer

🎙️ Podcast: Unapologetically In Power

🌐 Website: jennifer-damaskos.mykajabi.com

📸 Instagram: @unapologeticallyinpower

This is Unapologetically In Power—the show for high-performing women who are done proving their worth and ready to build wealth from self-trust instead of self-sacrifice.

Lead with ease. Earn in alignment. And let "enough" become a place your body actually knows how to live.

Episode Transcript

UIP ep 025- Designing Your “Enough” Number
===

[00:00:00] A nervous system based wealth plan.

This is unapologetically in power, and today we're going to make enough less vague and more embodied. I'm Jennifer Damaskos. If you've ever thought I'll feel safe when I make more, when I hit X amount, I'll finally relax, and then you hit the number and your nervous system did not get the memo. You are not alone. Most high achieving women never actually define what enough means, so they keep living in a vague cloud of [00:01:00] not there yet, even as their life objectively improves.

Today we're gonna design three simple numbers, your safety number, your stability number. And your expansion number, and we're gonna do it in a way, your nervous system can actually get behind money. Stress isn't just uncomfortable, it's expensive from a brain energy standpoint. Recent research on financial scarcity shows that when we're under money, stress, even just being reminded of financial problems.

Can reduce our mental bandwidth and make it harder to plan, focus, and make thoughtful decisions.

In other words, how am I going to make this work? Playing out a loop in your [00:02:00] head is not free. It's pulling focus away from creativity, strategy, long-term thinking, and keeping you in short-term reacting. Firefighting doom scrolling your bank app. When you never define enough, your brain can't ever tag the situation as safe now, so it stays in a low level state of alert, even if the numbers are better than they've ever been.

We're gonna change that. Grab a notebook if you can. We're going to define three monthly income numbers, not forever locked goals, just current best versions. The first one, your safety number. This is the number where your basic needs are covered. Your non-negotiables are funded. [00:03:00] Your nervous system can exhale a bit.

Think housing, utilities. Basic food, transportation, minimum debt, payments, essential healthcare. A very small life happens buffer. And ask yourself, what is the monthly number where if this were consistently coming in, my system would stop feeling like every bill is an emergency. Write that number down.

Number two is your stability number. This is safety plus breathing room. You're not just surviving, you're supported. Add in things like reasonable lifestyle upgrades, more generous grocery slash eating out budget, a little [00:04:00] traveler experiences more consistent savings. A buffer for kids, pets, hobbies. Then ask, what monthly number feels like I'm okay.

My life is resourced and I'm not constantly choosing between my needs. Write that number down. Now your third number is your expansion number. This is your next level number, the number where you can invest. You can give more. You can buy back time through support. You can take bolder moves with less stress.

So ask, what's the monthly number where I could play, invest, and give from overflow without it feeling [00:05:00] ridiculous or like a fantasy? Write that down. This is not about impressing anybody. This is about being honest. Now if we're going to reality check those numbers, not against the market, but against your nervous system.

Now we're going to reality check those numbers, not against the market, but against your nervous system. So take your safety number, say it out loud. My safety number is X per month. Notice your body. Does your belly soften or clench? Does your chest expand or tighten? Do you feel a sense of relief? Or does even that number [00:06:00] feel impossible?

Now do the same thing with your stability number. And your expansion number, you are listening for three things. The first thing is collapse with, that's impossible. No freaking way. The second thing is neutrality, which is, yeah, that could happen. And third is quiet excitement. That would change things.

Research and stress and decision making tells us that when we're highly activated, our brains default to short term survival choices. When we're more regulated, we regain access to long-term strategic thinking. So this check-in matters. If your expansion number sends your [00:07:00] system into shut down, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

It just means we don't build your next 90 days around it. We build your next moves around the highest number that feels possible and safe enough right now, and we train your system from there. So look at all three numbers together, safety, stability, expansion. Then ask, where am I now? Honestly, if you are below your safety number, that's not a moral failure.

It just tells us we're still in a chapter where the focus is stabilization, income, consistency, reducing chaos, and slowing leaks if you're between safety and stability. We're working on strengthening the floor and freeing up some space [00:08:00] if you're approaching or already at your expansion number.

The work often shifts from make more to hold, manage, and direct more without burning out. Wherever you are though, ask, what's one lever? Just one I can pull in the next 30 to 60 days. That moves me closer to my next number, is that lever earning more. Spending differently, saying no to something that drains profits or energy asking for, or designing a change at work.

Small but concrete. And here's the counterintuitive practice. Even if you're not yet at your safety number, I want you to [00:09:00] experience with living as if you are emotionally already there. What does that mean? It means asking yourself, if I deeply believed my safety number was secured and on its way, how would I make decisions differently?

Maybe you would stop saying yes to panic projects just for quick cash stop undercharging because you're afraid the client will say no. Stop obsessively checking your accounts multiple times a day. You're not pretending the numbers don't matter. You are refusing to let your worst case anxiety run every decision.

Remember, financial stress already steals mental bandwidth and decision quality. You are simply choosing not to donate extra energy to it. [00:10:00] So you're your reflection for this week. Which number, safety, stability, or expansion am I willing to organize my next 90 days around?

And what does my nervous system say about that? Write down the number three feelings you associate with it. Three actions that would naturally flow from that version of you. Let this be a conversation between your spreadsheets and your body. Not a debate. Where your body always loses your wealth is not just about how much you make,

it's about the relationship your system has with enough when you define it clearly and anchor it somatically. You give your brain permission to stop scanning for danger every time [00:11:00] you open your banking app and start focusing on strategy. Again, if you want support doing this work in community, this is exactly what we explore inside the five day wealth activation.

We're mapping your numbers and upgrading the part of you that decides what's possible. The links in the show notes. This is unapologetically in power. I'm Jennifer Damaskos. Lead with ease, earn in alignment, and let enough become a place your body actually knows how to live.