UIP ep 007
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[00:00:00] Independence sounds like power, but sometimes it's just protection. In a prettier outfit, we say, I've got it, and our business is drowning in details. We say, I can handle it. When we're burning out from handling everything we say, I don't need help. When what we really mean is. I've never learned how to trust anyone else to care as much as I do.
Welcome back to Unapologetically In Power, where we unlearn the patterns that keep us small and reclaim what power looks like on our terms. I'm your host, Jennifer Damaskos, and this is episode seven of our opening theme, how to unlearn who you had to be. Today we're peeling back one of the most praised and most problematic mess in business, the independent woman mask.
Let's talk about [00:01:00] what hyper independence looks like in your career. In business. It's not just handling your own problems, though you do that, it's handling everyone else's as well. It is being the go-to person who never goes to anyone, the leader who micromanages, because delegation feels like abdication.
The entrepreneur who's built a business around her and only her being indispensable, modern, hyper independence looks like writing every email post. And proposal yourself because no one gets your voice working weekends because asking your team to handle it feels like dumping, saying yes to every opportunity, because saying no might mean missing out.
Building systems around your availability instead of your boundaries. Maybe it started when you were young, maybe you learned that asking for help was met with disappointment. [00:02:00] Maybe you were praised for being so responsible and so mature. Maybe you realized that being needed felt safer than needing. So you learned, relying on others isn't safe because they might let you down.
Vulnerability equals incompetence. Leaders don't struggle. If you want it done right, do it yourself and prove your worth. In the process, it became your survival strategy. And eventually your business strategy, you became the woman. Everyone could count on the one who always delivers, the one who never complains.
But here's what that badge of honor actually costs you in your business. You become the bottleneck in your own growth. You can't scale because you can't let go. You burn out trying to be everything to everyone. Your team [00:03:00] doesn't develop because you don't delegate meaningfully. You create dependency instead of capability.
You lead through exhaustion instead of In Powerment. You become known for doing not for thinking, for executing, not for visioning, for being reliable, not for being remarkable. According to a study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, women who over identify with self-reliance and emotional suppression report significantly higher levels of anxiety, professional burnout, and isolation, even when they're successful by external mes.
And here's the kicker. Recent Gallup data shows that women leaders are 40% less likely to ask for support than their male counterparts even when they're struggling. Why? Because we fear being seen as [00:04:00] incompetent, overwhelming, or God forbid, needy. But here's what I've learned working with high achieving women.
The ones who scale aren't the ones who can do everything. They're the ones who know what's theirs to do and what's not. I've seen this pattern with my clients, the consultant who can't grow her business because she won't hire help convince no one else can deliver her quality. The executive who's drowning in operational details because asking her team to step up feels like burdening them.
The entrepreneur who's burned out from being the face, voice, and brain of her company, because sharing the spotlight feels like sharing her value. The independent woman mass tells us, asking for help is weakness. Needing support is failure. Doing it alone is more noble, but the truth is. Asking for help is strategy.
Needing support is [00:05:00] human. Doing it alone is just exhausting when you stop clinging to radical independence. Everything shifts. You stop being the bottleneck and become the visionary. You build teams that can think without you, not just execute for you. You create businesses that serve you, not consume you.
You realize that delegation isn't dumping it's development, that asking for help isn't weakness. It's wisdom that sharing responsibility doesn't diminish your value. It multiplies your impact. The woman on the other side of hyper independence. She hires before she's ready because she understands that readiness is a myth.
She delegates meaningfully even when it's messy at first. She builds systems that support her vision instead of requiring her presence. She leads by In [00:06:00] Powering others, not by exhausting herself. And you know what? She doesn't become lazy. I revent or dispensable. She becomes scalable. Sustainable and significantly more powerful because real power isn't doing everything alone.
Real power is knowing what's yours to carry and having the courage to put down what's not. The Journal of Counseling Psychology in 2023 say that women with Hyper independence patterns show 40% higher burnout rates and 38% lower team satisfaction scores in Harvard Business Review, female entrepreneurs who delegate strategic tasks.
Early grow their business 60% faster than those who maintain operational control and Gallup. In 2023, women leaders are 40% less likely to request support leading to 25% higher stress related health issues. So the data is [00:07:00] clear. Independence isn't just exhausting. It's expensive. So here's your power prompt for the week.
Complete these sentences. I'm doing blank alone because I'm afraid of that blank. If I trusted others to care as much as I do, I would delegate blank. The support I need but won't ask for is blank. Then take one concrete action. Delegate one meaningful task this week. Ask for help with something that matters.
Build one system that doesn't require your direct involvement. To ground this reflection without overwhelm, I use the five minute Journal from Intelligent Change. It helps me distinguish between what's mine to carry and what's mine to release. Use Unapologetic 10 for 10% [email protected] this week.
Let your strength include strategy. Let your independence include [00:08:00] collaboration. And let your leadership include the wisdom to ask for help. If this episode stirred something in you, if you recognize yourself in the exhaustion of doing everything alone, don't keep this insight to yourself. Hit subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Share this with a woman who's caring more than she needs to. And most importantly, practice ask skiing for help this week, not because you can't handle it, because you're smart enough to know you shouldn't have to. This is unapologetically In Powered. I'm Jennifer Damaskos. I see your strength even when you're ready to share the load.
Your supported era starts now.
