UIP ep 009
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[00:00:00] Welcome back to Unapologetically In Power, where we unmask identities we never intended to carry and free discover our truest, most powerful selves. I'm your host. Jennifer Damaskos and today we're tackling one of the most admired yet quietly sabotaging masks in the business, the strong one. This is episode nine of how to unlearn who you had to be, and if you've ever been told you are so strong while feeling completely overwhelmed inside this episode is for you.
You're so strong. How many times have you heard this in your professional life from colleagues after you handle the crises from clients when you navigated their chaos with grace from your team, when you steered through [00:01:00] uncertainty without breaking, and on the surface it's recognition of your resilience and composure, but behind those words.
Lies an invisible contract. One that says, you must always be strong. Always be stable. Always have it together. And here's the problem. When your professional brand becomes built on being unshakeable, showing any crack feels like career suicide because the strong one in business looks like being the leader who never admits when she's struggling with the decision creating content that only shows the highlight.
Never the hard parts. Networking as the woman who has it all figured out instead of the one still figuring it out. Building a personal brand around competence instead of authenticity. I see this with my clients. The consultant who won't share her business struggles on LinkedIn because it [00:02:00] might make clients doubt her expertise.
The coach who creates perfect content about transformation while privately battling her own challenges, it's the executive who maintains a flawless professional image while drowning in imposter syndrome. But here's what research from Brene Brown tells us. Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's our greatest measure of courage.
Yet the strong one Mask whispers that vulnerability is professional suicide. That showing struggle is career limiting, that authenticity is a luxury successful women can't afford. But here's what the strong one mask actually cost you. In your business, you become unrelatable. People admire you, but they don't connect with you.
You attract clients who expect perfection instead of transformation. You build a [00:03:00] brand that feels impressive, but not inspiring in your leadership. Your team doesn't trust you with their struggles because you don't share yours. You create distance instead of connection, and you lead through intimidation rather than inspiration in your content and visibility, your posts get likes, but they don't start conversations.
Your speaking becomes polished. But not powerful. Your story becomes a highlight reel instead of a human experience. Let me share something personal. For years I wore the strong one mask in every boardroom, every pitch, every public appearance. I prided myself on never needing help, never showing doubt, never letting anyone see me sweat.
My professional image was built on being the woman who had it all figured out, the investor who always made smart decisions, the entrepreneur who never crushed her [00:04:00] strategy. The leader who never showed uncertainty, but eventually the weight of carrying everyone's expectations. And my own became unbearable.
I realized my strength was isolating me from the deep connections and authentic relationships that actually create sustainable success. The wake up call came when a potential client told me, you know, you're impressive, but I don't feel like you'd understand my struggle. And in that moment, I understood, oh my goodness, my mask of strength was actually my business weakness.
And according to Dr. Kristin Neff's research on authentic leadership leaders who allow themselves to be vulnerable, experience deeper, team trust, better business relationships, and higher client satisfaction rate. So the translation becomes, your humanity isn't hurting your business, your mask is, [00:05:00] and here's what changes when you take the strong one mask off.
You become relatable instead of just respectable. So your audience connects with your journey, not just your achievements. You build trust through transparency because people wanna work with humans, not highlight reels. You create deeper client relationships. When you share your process, people trust you with theirs and you attract the right opportunities.
So instead of clients who expect perfection, you attract ones who value growth. The woman on the other side of that strong one mask, she doesn't abandon her competence for vulnerability. She weaves them together into authentic authority. She shares her wins and her learning moments. She admits when she's figuring it out in real time.
She builds her brand on growth, not just achievement. She leads with [00:06:00] courage, not just confidence. And you know what? She doesn't become less credible. She becomes magnetic because people don't follow perfect leaders. They follow real ones. So here's what you have to do if you want to start changing this.
First, you need to redefine your professional strength, write your own definition of it. One that includes growth, learning, and authentic struggle. Share your process, not just your results. So in your next piece of content, include something you're currently figuring out, not just something you've mastered.
Lead with learning. and, I love this one. In your next team meeting or client call, share one thing you are learning right now and watch how it shifts the dynamic. And last practice strategic vulnerability. Choose one trusted colleague or mentor, and [00:07:00] share a real challenge you're facing and ask for their perspective.
Here's your power prompt for this week, I feel pressure to be strong in blank because blank. If I didn't have to appear perfect, I would share blank. My authentic leadership would look like. Blank. Then take one brave action. Post something real about your current challenges or growth. Share a lesson you're learning in real time.
Admit something you don't know in a professional setting. I process these vulnerable moments in my five minute journal from Intelligent Change. It helps me distinguish between authentic strength and performative strength. Use code Unapologetic. 10 for 10% [email protected]. Remember, genuine strength includes the courage to be seen, messy growing, learning, and [00:08:00] human.
Your audience doesn't need another perfect leader. Your clients don't need another flawless expert. Your team doesn't need another untouchable boss. They need you. The real you with your victories and your questions, your confidence and your curiosity, your expertise and your evolution, that's not weakness disguised as strength.
That strength evolved beyond the mass. If this episode hit home. If you recognize yourself in the exhaustion of constant composure, don't keep this insight to yourself. Hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. Share this with the leader who's tired of carrying the weight of everyone's expectations.
And most importantly, show up as human this week. Let your audience see your process. Let your team see your growth. Let your clients see your real journey, because authenticity isn't just [00:09:00] more powerful than perfection. It's more profitable. This is unapologetically in Power. I'm Jennifer Damaskos, and your permission to be human starts now because your authentic authority era begins today.
